Why is it important to stand on your own feet in recovery?
Because no one else can build your foundation for you. To have a strong, stable platform on which to weather the storms of life, each building block must be placed by you. You can’t trust your recovery, your sobriety, your very quality of life, on a set of someone else’s construction.
Independence is striking out on your own. That means having ideas about your life and recovery that you implement with guidance. Not help, guidance that comes from prayer and meditation.
Perhaps our trouble was not that we used our imagination. Perhaps the real trouble was our almost total inability to point imagination toward the right objectives.– Page 101, 12 and 12
It means having your own “aha moments” or “spiritual experiences” that make you see clearly what you did well and where you have gotten off track. It’s making your bad experiences a teaching moment.
These moments can be as simple as realizing that having your own financial account means that you do not have to explain your spending to anyone. It also means that you reap the consequences of your spending habits: whether you’re saving or blowing money. And making mistakes is part of the process. Fixing your financial issues ensures that you learn the lesson. Most times, the person who saves you from a financial issue has already learned their lesson of financial responsibility. That’s why they have the means to save you in the first place.
For many, old ways of thinking and behaving are a product of a life of addiction. Independence is changing those ideals and making new decisions that result in better consequences; instead of the other way around. If others are making your decisions, you don’t start changing your behavior based on results. You continue to travel thru life haphazardly, knowing that no matter the consequence, you’re not going to be uncomfortable.
Self-sufficiency is the follow-up to independence. You can have new ideas, but you need to put them into action to see change.
“Aha moments” are easily forgotten if you don’t actually create change in your life based on those revelations. You need to use the tools at your disposal to create a self-sustained life.
Change is the characteristic of all growth. From drinking to sobriety, from dishonesty to honesty, from conflict to serenity, from hate to love, from childish dependence to adult responsibility – all this and infinitely more represent change for the better.-ABSI page 76
Change is painful. It requires sacrifice and hard work. That’s what makes it feel so great when you incorporate change into your life. The easier, softer way keeps us soft and weak. Sacrifice and hard work are what we need to build strong minds, strong character and strong recovery.
All those who have persisted have found strength not ordinarily their own. They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability. And they have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand firm in the face of difficult circumstances. Page 104 12 and 12
You are given a guide and tools to help you through the struggle. Independence and self-sufficiency do not mean that you are alone in your journey.
In our previous lives, we’ve been taking from others. The spirit of recovery is to give to others. If you haven’t earned anything, if you haven’t experienced any problems and prevailed, you don’t have anything to share with others. If you don’t build a good base in your own life, you don’t have the strength to help pick someone else up.
In recovery, creating a stable, independent home life is the basic building platform.
This is what we build our future on. We must first get our spiritual house in order, then our mental house in order, then our physical house in order.
Character building and spiritual values had to come first and material satisfaction were not the purpose of living.-Step 7 12 and 12
Independence and self-sufficiency are a gift that your sponsor, higher power, friends and family give to you. Treasure it.